The group of scientists running erectile dysfunction trials in Bristol were faced with a few problems, and some of them were really pretty difficult. As one nice young man said: “We needed a tool that would help us quantify erections of the penis.” Oops.
In order to investigate the power of male enhancement products like VigRx Plus, the researchers developed the Penis Scan, a nifty device for detecting erections. They also collected a library of pornographic videos to stimulate the sexual response of the penis and introduced the concept of keeping an “erection diary”.
Just don’t leave your penis diary lying around when auntie visits.
This incident and other fascinating stories about sex are featured on the television show “Sexual Chemistry”, a history of the treatment of impotence (or “male erectile dysfunction” as we must now call it).
Of course, one of the biggest problems with putting on a show like this is how to avoid accidental doubles entendres, or worse, outright sniggering about penis enlargement devices, male enhancement, and herbal products like VigRx Plus that guarantee a really hard penis.
They plumped for a reassuringly sensible, motherly voiceover. My review tape of this documentary on erectile dysfunction and penis health lacked end credits, but it sounded like the actress Lynda Bellingham. (By the time this hits the newsagents I will know if I was right.)
“There was a lot hanging on these men’s erections,” she intoned solemnly, as if butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth, and then I heard it – an unmistakable snort.
Sadly this will have been edited out of the broadcast program, but I promise you it was there.
The response of serious documentary-makers to anything viewers might find embarrassing, such as the penis and male enhancement, is to get exceptionally po-faced and serious.
As if VigRx Plus saving the world from erectile dysfunction was a comic book complete with costumed superhero. We had somber, slightly eerie incidental music during the introductory sequence and lots of impressively scientific shots of the banks of little drawers that research pharmacologists keep their penis pills in – that sort of thing.
And with the exception of that tell-tale snort, the voiceover maintained an air of majestic calm and warm, caring sobriety. After all, the inner workings of the penis is no joke!
But my tape also lacked the computer graphics used to illustrate those erections off which so much was to hang and some wag had substituted the missing penis material with the caption “Computer Graphics II – The Full Monty”.
So we now know that the more sepulchral the tone, the more likely it is that the production team are rolling around the editing room in fits of adolescent mirth and grave intonations of “C’mon, please take your VigRx Plus with your veggies”.
It seems to me that there has actually been a great deal of coverage of male enhancement and penis pills, even before VigRx Plus thrust itself upon the nation’s consciousness.
Apart from a rainforest’s-worth of newsprint about the well-known penis pill itself, we have had radio programs, television snippets and any number of press articles about earlier treatments for male impotence.
But this program did have some entertaining details about male enhancement to add.
I hadn’t realized that penis pump devices were invented by an American car-tire repairman called Geddings Osbon, who made his first contraption out of bits of windscreen washers and a bicycle pump.
It was also news to me that the doctor who invented penile injections (have you noticed that nurses always say: “You’ll just feel a little scratch” these days?) had demonstrated on himself in front of an audience of 200 surprised international experts.
The more interesting material concerned the development of VigRx Plus. This combined the accidental discovery, by researchers at Pfizer Ltd in Kent, of the agent that allows blood flow into the penis, with the discovery in America that nitric oxide provides the chemical message from the brain which stimulates arousal.
The final element of this male enhancement saga was the race to develop a female equivalent drug, about which the researchers were reluctant to give much away.
A golden future beckons, it seems, when worn-out middle-aged couples will put the children to bed, pop a pill apiece over their supper and be primed and ready to go, before deciding they are too tired and falling asleep anyway. Male enhancement indeed!